


4 times Stark's Kids Were Petty or Aggressive and 1 Time Someone Else Was

by TheInternet



Series: Salty Children™ [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (hopefully), Humor, I like cap ok, M/M, Salty-ness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 06:11:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14710595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheInternet/pseuds/TheInternet
Summary: The kids love their dad and will fight someone who fought their dad.In other words, the kids are petty towards their dad's ex





	4 times Stark's Kids Were Petty or Aggressive and 1 Time Someone Else Was

1

Steve walked into the complex with his hands in his jacket pockets, taking in his surroundings. It had been awhile since he’d seen Tony. They were happy together but he couldn’t have just let Bucky get captured and the Accords pass. It wasn’t his fault that he was brainwashed, HYDRA had screwed with him and it was Steve’s job as a best friend to protect him. Tony had gotten too angry, too volatile after seeing his mom’s death. It had been self-defense and both of them needed time away from each other. 

But he was back now and determined to make things right. Be as happy with Tony as he once was. The others that had come along hadn’t exactly shared that sentiment. Wanda and Tony hated each other from the start, Wanda not liking his personality and Tony not liking the fact that she was inside of his head. Clint had shared enough stories that showed that someone being in your head was not fun. Sam, Rhodey, and Tony had patched things up over a phone call no one had really expected. Tony didn’t care about who Lang was and things between him and Clint were strained but Natasha said that things were okay between them.

It was a bit of surprise to see Tony laughing with Bruce, Pepper, Rhodey, Thor, and a group of teenagers while playing a board game. At their entrance, Tony looked up and his smile faded. He turned to a tall blonde kid, no more than 19 years old, and asked, “Jarvis, I thought you said they were going to get here an hour later.” The kid seemed deep in thought for second, eyes looking glazed over.

“It seems my calculations were off, my apologies Sir.” The kid- no Jarvis- said. He looked down in his seat at his hands looking bashful. Wasn’t Jarvis an AI, Steve couldn’t believe it. They made him a body and it looked the other couple full fledged AIs Tony had created. Jarvis was slim, a runner’s body no doubt. He wore thick black glasses and a button down covered with a sweater and jeans. He chose a mature dressing style that didn’t match his young face at all.

“Wasn’t Jarvis in a computer?” Wanda asked, venom dripping somewhat into her voice. After Ultron, no one could trust Tony’s AIs too much. If they were all acting like that who knows what could happen.

“Not exactly, but why do you ask?” Tony replied, bored with her already

“How Jarvis have a human form and who are these other kids?” 

“Same way that Vision has one, it’s just a more human body. It was their idea anyway.” Tony points to row of teens, there’s a scrawny blonde kid, an average looking kid, a short girl smothered in a sweatshirt, and another that has thick curly hair. “Harley Keener, Peter Parker, Karen, and Friday.”

Thor let out a hearty laugh, bringing the group’s attention to them. He was missing an eye and had shorter hair now. Somehow, he seemed more powerful and wiser. “Friday is my favorite! Although she won’t let me make her a warrior.” Friday throws her hands in the air, sighing.

“I don’t wanna be a warrior, I’m one of Boss’s protectors.” She turned and looked straight into the eyes of Steve, “We all know he needs protection from people, even the ones he trusts.” Bruce looked up from his phone with his eyebrows raised and looked between the kids and Steve. Sensing the tension, he picked up his tea and leaned back in his chair.

“Oh. Oh! So this is Cap? I have to admit, I’m feeling a little underwhelmed. I thought he was gonna be……. better.” Harley butt in, disappointed at the sight of Steve. Steve tilted his head at the insult(?) and looked at Tony, but he was staring at his phone. 

It was gonna be like that, huh.

2

When Karen first ran into Steve, her eyes narrowed at him. She was in Nike shorts and a big “I Survived My Trip To NYC” shirt, brown hair mussed from her sleep. Steve was in the middle of biting into a banana and chewed slowly once they made eye contact. She prepared a pot of coffee and took creamer and sugar out for her cup.

“Aren’t you a little young to be drinking coffee? You’ll stunt your growth.” Steve said, trying to dispel the tension and make small talk. Karen slowly turned to him and squinted her eyes.

“Funny how you didn’t think of someone’s age when you dropped a truck onto a 15 year old’s shoulders. But I know how old people start to lose their sense.” Karen quipped, turning and taking the coffee of the machine and pouring it into her mug. She had left Steve absolutely speechless and acted like she hadn’t even said it. 

Steve couldn’t let her leave without explaining the context of the situation. “You see, I was doing it out of- “

“What? Self defense? Been there, heard that.” Karen dismissed him swiftly, “I was in Peter’s suit the entire time, I know what happened in that entire airport battle and don’t think Friday didn’t show me the footage of Siberia. Remember this, I may follow Peter’s orders but Mr. Stark ws the one who made me.” Her eyes were glaring holes into his face by now, then she was off towards her room.

“Oh and by the way, caffeine doesn’t stunt your growth.” And the small girl was back to walking down the halls to her room. Maybe it was going to be harder than Steve thought to win over the trust of Tony and the kids.

3

Steve had been avoiding Jarvis for the most part, but wanted to talk to Tony alone. Jarvis never left Tony’s side, everytime Steve saw Tony Jarvis would be right next to him. After the fifth time of trying to talk to Tony in some way other than one-sided small talk, Jarvis pulled Steve to the side. Today Jarvis was wearing a white button down and jeans, glasses pushed up into his hair.

“Captain, you need to give Tony time to recover from your last meeting. You see, he had already been betrayed by someone close to him before,” Jarvis explained, “and for his long time boyfriend to do the same as his megalomaniac of a pseudo father figure, it would hurt a lot. Give him time, but do be careful if something happens between you two again. The outcome will not be pretty.” 

Steve was confused, nothing like that would happen again. It was a one-time thing and Bucky was better now, there was nothing to worry about. But there was one thing he had just realized, “Is that a threat, Jarvis?”.

Jarvis rolled up his sleeves and looked at Steve with his pale blue eyes, “Take it how you see fit. I’m also not just talking about myself, Tony has made friends while you have been gone. Real friends.” Steve’s eyebrows furrowed at the last part, the Avengers were real friends to each other.

“What type of friends are you talking about?” Steve was curious in the friends that Tony trusted.

“A nice group of, dare I say, ex-criminals turned guardians and not the other way around and two sorcerers. If you’re lucky, they might come around soon.” Jarvis replied.

“What do you mean by ‘not the other way arou-’”? Steve started, brows furrowing even further.

“I have to help Tony upgrade his arc reactor, you know the one you caused. He didn’t have it anymore but now he does so, if you will, allow me to get back to fixing his personal life support.” Jarvis turned on his heel and left in the direction of the workshop. 

Steve was still curious on the subject of Tony’s new friends. Sorcerers and criminals? They sounded insane.

4

Peter and Harley didn’t end up talking to Steve until the fourth day the rogue Avengers came back. He seemed like a good kid and completely adored Tony. It seemed that Tony had become a father figure to the kid, it was a good thing for the both of them. Karen had let it slip in their encounter that Peter was Spider-Man, Steve was still a little wary of Karen since then. Peter and Harley were playing a fighting game in the living room. 

“Harley you cheater! Tenten is such a cheap character!”

“Tenten is a perfectly fine character thank you very much.”

Steve didn’t know what a Tenten was but if he had to guess, it was the person who was throwing steel out of a scroll. Wait how did that even work? “What are you two playing?” Steve asked, trying to at least be on someone’s good side.

Harley rolled his eyes and answered, “Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 4.”

Steve blinked his eyes. That was a mouthful to say the least. “What’s it about?”

A sigh. “Naruto Shippuden.”

“What’s that about?”

“Naruto.”

“Who’s that?”

“An orphan.”

“How did he become an orphan?”

“Oh my Jesus.” Harley paused the game and whirled on Steve. “We’re in the middle of a fight and if you want to bother someone bother your friends or whatever.”

“I was just curious about what the game was about. You could have just given me a straight answer, son.” Steve replied, this kid was being really difficult and it was getting kind of annoying.

“Oh cut the ‘son’ crap, Macho Man. You waltz in here like everything is going to be fine after you beat Stark into a pulp.” Harley had stood up by now and was waving his hands to accentuate his points, “But no it was ‘self-defense’. We don’t care! Stark was in the hospital for a week and had to get another Arc. Reactor. Do you get how crazy his injuries were or do you need somebody to pound it into your roided up skull. Nobody here except your little ragtag group of idiots like you so why don’t you get your popsicle, Jimmy Neutron looking ass out of here!”

The kid was panting by now, face flushed from the anger that spilled from him. Steve was taken aback by him. He nodded solemnly and walked off, maybe he should count his relationship with Tony as good as gone. If he couldn’t get any of his kids to like him, how could Tony ever give him a chance? As he made it to his room, he heard bare feet walking towards him. It was Peter with an awkward facial expression. 

“Sorry about what Harley said. I met him a little bit ago and he really looks up to Mr. Stark. Mr. Stark adopted him after his family died in a car crash. He only knows about Siberia because they talk about their nightmares when Harley has one so he can go to sleep. He j- He just took the news hard especially after Mr. Stark had to put another Arc Reactor in.” Peter looked at him and smiled softly. “I hope that explains his outburst.”

“I see. He was right, though.”

“Oh. Yeah, I’m not doubting that. I’m just here because he could’ve said it without telling you that you look like Jimmy Neutron on steroids.” Peter chuckled, “But I’m not mad about you dropping that thing on me, I was fine. Karen overreacted.” 

“Oh.”

“See ya.”

+1

A raccoon, aliens, and two wizards all crowded the living room chatting animatedly with each other and the kids. Tony had instantly brightened when he saw one of the wizards, going over to start talking about something Steve couldn’t hear. Harley and Friday were messing around with the raccoon, who was actually standing on two feet and wearing clothes. It reminded him vaguely of the rat taking a shower. Jarvis and Karen were listening to Thor and a green woman’s tale of a giant butterfly that they had slain in space. Bruce seemed to be explaining something to a woman with white markings on her face. The other wizard was arguing with a man who looked like he was from Earth, a bug looking lady, and a muscular grey and red man over the music to play.

Sam was talking to Rhodey about the football game last night when Steve walked over, “Hey Rhodey. Who are these people?”

Rhodey chuckled, “Oh man, that’s a lot but here we go. The wizard with Tony is Dr. Stephen Strange, Sorcerer Supreme.They’re dating.-”

“What do you mean they’re dating.” Steve interrupted, not even getting an acknowledgement

“- The other wizard is Wong, super cool dude. They’re both the sorcerers who protect New York. The raccoon is Rocket, don’t let him near your shield. White guy with the grey guy is Peter Quill, abducted by space pirates when he was young, Grey guy is Drax, takes things wayyy too literally. Lady with the antennas is Mantis, she can feel what you’re feeling if she touches you. Green gal is Gamora, deadlier than Natasha but really nice. All of them are the Guardians of the Galaxy and help out in space a lot. The lady with Bruce is Brunnhilde but she said to just call her Valkyrie. Is that it? Am I missing any?”

“Yeah, there’s a blue lady sitting next to Peter. What’s she about?” Sam pointed out, Steve hadn’t even noticed her. She was silently watching the entire room. All of a sudden, she locked eyes with him and Steve looked away.

“That’s Nebula, she’s Gamora’s sister. They’re pretty messed up, Nebula more so, because they’re Thanos’ daughters.” Rhodey explained, taking a sip of his drink. He smiled at Wong who had waved at him from the stereo system.

“Thanos?! Wasn’t he the one in Tony’s head after the attack on New York?” Steve worriedly asked, back when things were still peaceful, Tony would wake in a cold sweat because of whispers from him.

“Yeah. Him. Supposedly Quill’s team, Tony, and Strange went out to space for a while and came back and just explained that Thanos wouldn’t be doing anything to the galaxies. I know while they were up there, they met up with Thor, Valkyrie, Bruce, and Loki on an Asgardian ship. Asgard was destroyed because of Thor’s evil sister but the citizens made it out and settled on a planet somewhere. Loki went to live with his boyfriend, the Grandmaster or something. I’m sure Tony could tell you more if you asked him.” Rhodey finished, checking his phone notifications. 

That was a lot for Steve to take in. Somehow a small squad of people took down the person behind the attack on New York. While they had been gone, Tony moved on and started dating Strange. He now has four kids and a protege and they all hate him. The Avengers that left have essentially been replaced by the Guardians of the Galaxy. What was the point in staying here? The point was to be around in case people needed help, feelings aside, Steve had a duty. 

“Listen buddy, Tony most likely isn’t going to take you back. I forgave Sam for paralyzing me because it was an accident. The difference is you left Tony to help out some other dude and nearly killed him in the process.” Rhodey looked at Sam with his eyebrows raised, Sam shook his head to signal that there were no objections. “Truth be told, I’m pretty pissed with what you did but I understand why you did it. I just want you to know, Tony is my absolute best friend and we’ve been friends for decades, so if you hurt him again I will make sure your life is difficult.” Rhodey finished the last of his drink and walked off to get more. 

Sam looked at him with a shrug. “I never did say that what you did in Siberia was right.” With that, Sam followed in the same direction Rhodey had gone.


End file.
